Intra-personal Conflict:

Everyone has a set of psychological tapes automatic responses often learned in childhood that get triggered by high stress. Let's take Max as an example. He grew up in a family where questions were asked like accusations. As an adult, when people ask Why do you he actually hears, You shouldn't be doing that! When feeling accused, he blows up and overreacts. Max is usually a dependable employee who responds appropriately to situations. But under heavy stress, his old tape from childhood can suddenly start playing and it plays in stereo. Instead of answering a question, he'll argue back with statements like, You have no right to question me! or Just who do you think you are?î As a result of interpersonal conflict, his behavior is out of proportion to the triggering event.

Resolving Intra-personal Conflict 

When a conflict is intrapersonal, it is most often resolved through one-on-one coaching and feedback from trusted friends or professionals. Gradually, the individual works through their ìold tapesî causing the problem. Solutions are found by inviting the person to invent new, more effective responses to conflict situations. 

Managing Conflict:

It's a Skill Conflict resolution is a learned skill based on understanding the type of conflict at hand. For interpersonal conflicts, use the Conflict Styles Matrix to discover the different personality types behind the conflict. Knowing this, your group can separate conflicts from stress, then work toward resolution using the four steps of Originate, Negotiate, Validate, and Communicate. Finally, underlying problems can be addressed in ways that improve the skills of individuals as well as the group. The result? A stronger, happier team.